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questions from 4th graders…wow.

April 23, 2012 in culture, student ministry, thoughts with 12 Comments

continuing to think alot about the impact of our culture on our teens.  i spent the weekend at an incredible overnite event called “changers” with a group of 150 middlesschoolers.  they had amazing energy and an even more amazing desire to find their place in the larger Story. in one of our final “family”sessions we had the students write letters to themselves that will be mailed in the future to them.  the letters were to be an “ebenezeer” of sorts to remind them of what ways they think they can impact the world.  cool stuff…they took a long time…and it was cool to watch them turn over their paper to write on the back.  lots of impact for sure.

but there’s a tension that becomes apparent when one studies the list in the photo of questions recently submitted by the 4th graders at a local elementary school of questions they want answers to that they are afraid to ask their parents about.  wow.

in a recent email from a Kingdom ally the following thots were posed…

What is our generation’s legacy?  What do we want it to be?  As a generalization we’ve given to the world:

Divorce is an easy, acceptable, pragmatic even preferred option.
The family structure as optional, “Hey, the kids are strong. They can handle it.” Right.
Selfishness justifies anything.
Science trumps wisdom (when in truth it validates it).
Godlessness trumps truth.
Youth, ripped, endless sex, rock and roll, and money are our Gods.
Self-indulgence is foundational: It is our right.
Abortion is an assumed right. It is the foundation of any compassionate, rational human being.
Abstinence is impractical, foolish, it is downright uncool. Holiness is ridiculous.
The world is to be worshipped (mother earth) as infants are murdered.
Terrorists are terrorists unless they kill Christians, then it is not newsworthy.
We deserve everything. We are accountable for nothing.
We wil never age, nor lose our sex appeal, nor die.
It is better to know more about the Khardasians, Survivor and other reality shows than it is to know our God.
Good is bad, and bad is good.

my friend goes on to ask:

Why are the kids the way they are? Who has guided them? Who will guide them?

and then offers this word from God:
“He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” [Rev 21:7-8]

and then states

The “cowardly” . . . Thanks to all that have turned and are walking with Christ to make a difference.  Forgive me for when I don’t.  Who will stand and say, “The legacy must change!”  Who is still so trapped by the world that they are no earthly good because they are too encumbered by this earth? I am not throwing stones; I am letting you see the questions exploding in my own heart.

wondering now in my own mind where to chart the course to helping 4th graders ask different questions.  your thoughts?

the eric trap – my thots

April 17, 2012 in books & reviews, leadership, student ministry, thoughts with Comments Off



Jim Wideman-Sam Luce-Kenny Conley are each individually amazingly smart dudes in the Kingdom.  So when they work together they are  truly “uber-brilliant”.  Recently they have joined forces to pen a new short work on leadership for those in the children’s ministry realm.  (Although, i’m convinced that the wisdom of their effort, along with the practical input of their colleagues – Kristin Englund, Sherri Epperson, Craig Gyergyo, Deana Hayes, and Matt McDaniels- is an invaluable tool for anyone in any ministry).

This is day 7 of the “eric trap” blog tour and i’ve offered up a few thots here on my video review.  I’ll admit the fact that fictional children’s ministry Eric Newman works at New Hope Community Church made me taken an even closer look….and there was more than a couple of times where i wondered if Jim-Sam-Kenny had read my journals.  Seriously in more than 6 years as a pastor, vocationally and an additional 30 years as a volunteer in children’s/student  ministry i’ve encountered every aspect of Eric’s tough week chronicled in the book.

I don’t want to spoil the book for you, but when you finish you’ll be wondering what next steps Eric will be taking…and it all comes down to this…

We win or lose by the way we choose.

~Jim Wideman

For the reader the biggest and most practical take away and consideration is the encouragement from the author’s and their team to take your journal and turn the conversation to your own circumstance and begin to process how you are leading.   The task we are called to in ministry is not easy because its about coming along side others who are equally broken and disconnected and offering them a place where together we get to live out our faith by serving God.  Its hard work.  Its supposed to be.

I need to say again, The Eric Trap isn’t just for those in children’s ministry.  The collective wisdom is something i think every leader needs to process through.  And if you’re a volunteer or a parent this book will give you a better appreciation for what should be the expectations in the local church.  It’s an easy read and is worth the investment of time and money.   Its available here.

disclosure:  i did receive a free e-reader copy of this book for this review.

culture lunch with walt mueller

April 10, 2012 in culture, family, student ministry with Comments Off

its been a few weeks…actually about 4 since i’ve been here. i’m still processing much that prompted me to jump off and go a bit silent in the interwebs.  but i wanted to get back to it.   i had the pleasure to spend some time today with Dr. Walt Mueller at Malone University. The admissions folks at Malone hosted an enjoyable lunch conversation for the 330 networking group. Walt has been doing some amazing things over the past couple of decades through the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. Recently they launched an excellent tool for parents and youth workers.  according to Walt the site’s purpose is to…

offer information and tools that will help you lead the kids you know and love into living safely, wisely and to the glory of God on the emerging digital frontier.

the site is loaded with all sorts of helpful information to better understand the digital age and its impact on youth and families.

the 330 network prayed for Walt Mueller and his good work thru CPYU.

our lunch conversation was great and although some of what we talked about concerning the culture was troubling…mostly because technology and its impact seems to be snowballing and its not clear where its going to end.  that being said, our discussion with Walt centered on what has become almost the central theme of my thinking lately.  Our (parents & youthworkers) presence matters more than our being culturally relevant.  Although being aware of the culture is important (and the Digital Kids Initiative will help with that so visit it-bookmark it and share it!)…our willingness to be present, literally in the lives of our families and our students matters more.

women of a different status-@31status

March 12, 2012 in student ministry, thoughts with Comments Off

i’ve been having too many conversations lately with our female students and adult leaders about helping our young women understand their place in world.  i’m tired of the drama of the revolving door of relationships with boys. …so much misunderstanding of who they are as daughter’s of the great King. the culture tells so many lies about the roles of both genders. And then today…my Kingdom ally, neely posted about this new effort 31 status.  31Status is a worldwide movement teaching girls to be the best they can be spiritually, mentally and physically. wow…good stuff here.  love this new telling of a proverbs 31 woman.  wow.

Chardon Shootings: Prayers & the Cafeteria

February 27, 2012 in leadership, student ministry, thoughts with Comments Off

click this image to learn more

Words can not express the horror of what has transpired today in the quiet community of Chardon, OH.  The brokenness of one young man causes the death (there are two as of this post) of his classmates.  We may never truly know the “why” of it.

Although the shooter has been arrested, the deep motivation that pushed him may escape our understanding.  I see this anger played out daily in the schools i visit and almost hourly in the fabric of the social network.  I’m not clear what to offer as a solution…but do know that those of us in leadership in communities and the local Church are going to have to think differently.  Over the past year i’ve been in many conversations about these issues.  The common theme centers around “bullying”. Local schools are spending tons of money to raise awareness…but i think the most basic solution and probably too simple for some -is we need to get to know each other better.  I sat in a bullying awareness seminar last spring and i can remember processing the experience and thinking…the real problem is these students don’t know each others stories.  And that lack of understanding is the core of so much of their relational breakdowns.  Efforts like Every Student-Every School can be a great first start.  Since prayer is the life breath of all ministry, getting concerned parents and community leaders joining together to pray for the students and for their being in healty peer relationships would be an amazing first start.  You can sign up for your school by following the link.

One of my good Kingdom Allies, Greg Stier, president of Dare2Share (and an early responder at Columbine High School in 1999) offered some great thoughts today on his blog with 5 reminders in light of today’s events here in Ohio.  One thought in particular was the concept of  encouraging our Christian students to sit at a different cafeteria table ever week.  By doing so, our students will get a chance to know others at school and better understand who each other is.  I wonder like Greg if  the Christian teenagers at Chardon High School would have reached out to TJ Lane with the love of Jesus on a consistent basis whether or not the outcome would have been different. The rant TJ posted on his facebook page (now removed) shows a young man who has been hurt and ignored by many.

Could these deaths and woundings been avoided?  Maybe, maybe not…either way we’ve got to step up and equip and set our students free to reach out to…

“those teens”…the “un” ones, the loners and “losers.”  Why? Because this is the exact pattern of Jesus and, if the love of Jesus can’t prevent school shootings, there’s not a metal detector in the world that will.

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