but there’s a tension that becomes apparent when one studies the list in the photo of questions recently submitted by the 4th graders at a local elementary school of questions they want answers to that they are afraid to ask their parents about.  wow.

in a recent email from a Kingdom ally the following thots were posed…

What is our generation’s legacy?  What do we want it to be?  As a generalization we’ve given to the world:

Divorce is an easy, acceptable, pragmatic even preferred option.
The family structure as optional, “Hey, the kids are strong. They can handle it.” Right.
Selfishness justifies anything.
Science trumps wisdom (when in truth it validates it).
Godlessness trumps truth.
Youth, ripped, endless sex, rock and roll, and money are our Gods.
Self-indulgence is foundational: It is our right.
Abortion is an assumed right. It is the foundation of any compassionate, rational human being.
Abstinence is impractical, foolish, it is downright uncool. Holiness is ridiculous.
The world is to be worshipped (mother earth) as infants are murdered.
Terrorists are terrorists unless they kill Christians, then it is not newsworthy.
We deserve everything. We are accountable for nothing.
We wil never age, nor lose our sex appeal, nor die.
It is better to know more about the Khardasians, Survivor and other reality shows than it is to know our God.
Good is bad, and bad is good.

my friend goes on to ask:

Why are the kids the way they are? Who has guided them? Who will guide them?

and then offers this word from God:
“He who overcomes will inherit these things, and I will be his God and he will be My son. But for the cowardly and unbelieving and abominable and murderers and immoral persons and sorcerers and idolaters and all liars, their part will be in the lake that burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.” [Rev 21:7-8]

and then states

The “cowardly” . . . Thanks to all that have turned and are walking with Christ to make a difference.  Forgive me for when I don’t.  Who will stand and say, “The legacy must change!”  Who is still so trapped by the world that they are no earthly good because they are too encumbered by this earth? I am not throwing stones; I am letting you see the questions exploding in my own heart.

wondering now in my own mind where to chart the course to helping 4th graders ask different questions.  your thoughts?

This is day 7 of the “eric trap” blog tour and i’ve offered up a few thots here on my video review.  I’ll admit the fact that fictional children’s ministry Eric Newman works at New Hope Community Church made me taken an even closer look….and there was more than a couple of times where i wondered if Jim-Sam-Kenny had read my journals.  Seriously in more than 6 years as a pastor, vocationally and an additional 30 years as a volunteer in children’s/student  ministry i’ve encountered every aspect of Eric’s tough week chronicled in the book.

I don’t want to spoil the book for you, but when you finish you’ll be wondering what next steps Eric will be taking…and it all comes down to this…

We win or lose by the way we choose.

~Jim Wideman

For the reader the biggest and most practical take away and consideration is the encouragement from the author’s and their team to take your journal and turn the conversation to your own circumstance and begin to process how you are leading.   The task we are called to in ministry is not easy because its about coming along side others who are equally broken and disconnected and offering them a place where together we get to live out our faith by serving God.  Its hard work.  Its supposed to be.

I need to say again, The Eric Trap isn’t just for those in children’s ministry.  The collective wisdom is something i think every leader needs to process through.  And if you’re a volunteer or a parent this book will give you a better appreciation for what should be the expectations in the local church.  It’s an easy read and is worth the investment of time and money.   Its available here.

disclosure:  i did receive a free e-reader copy of this book for this review.

its been a few weeks…actually about 4 since i’ve been here. i’m still processing much that prompted me to jump off and go a bit silent in the interwebs.  but i wanted to get back to it.   i had the pleasure to spend some time today with Dr. Walt Mueller at Malone University. The admissions folks at Malone hosted an enjoyable lunch conversation for the 330 networking group. Walt has been doing some amazing things over the past couple of decades through the Center for Parent/Youth Understanding. Recently they launched an excellent tool for parents and youth workers.  according to Walt the site’s purpose is to…

offer information and tools that will help you lead the kids you know and love into living safely, wisely and to the glory of God on the emerging digital frontier.

the site is loaded with all sorts of helpful information to better understand the digital age and its impact on youth and families.

the 330 network prayed for Walt Mueller and his good work thru CPYU.

our lunch conversation was great and although some of what we talked about concerning the culture was troubling…mostly because technology and its impact seems to be snowballing and its not clear where its going to end.  that being said, our discussion with Walt centered on what has become almost the central theme of my thinking lately.  Our (parents & youthworkers) presence matters more than our being culturally relevant.  Although being aware of the culture is important (and the Digital Kids Initiative will help with that so visit it-bookmark it and share it!)…our willingness to be present, literally in the lives of our families and our students matters more.

click this image to learn more

Words can not express the horror of what has transpired today in the quiet community of Chardon, OH.  The brokenness of one young man causes the death (there are two as of this post) of his classmates.  We may never truly know the “why” of it.

Although the shooter has been arrested, the deep motivation that pushed him may escape our understanding.  I see this anger played out daily in the schools i visit and almost hourly in the fabric of the social network.  I’m not clear what to offer as a solution…but do know that those of us in leadership in communities and the local Church are going to have to think differently.  Over the past year i’ve been in many conversations about these issues.  The common theme centers around “bullying”. Local schools are spending tons of money to raise awareness…but i think the most basic solution and probably too simple for some -is we need to get to know each other better.  I sat in a bullying awareness seminar last spring and i can remember processing the experience and thinking…the real problem is these students don’t know each others stories.  And that lack of understanding is the core of so much of their relational breakdowns.  Efforts like Every Student-Every School can be a great first start.  Since prayer is the life breath of all ministry, getting concerned parents and community leaders joining together to pray for the students and for their being in healty peer relationships would be an amazing first start.  You can sign up for your school by following the link.

One of my good Kingdom Allies, Greg Stier, president of Dare2Share (and an early responder at Columbine High School in 1999) offered some great thoughts today on his blog with 5 reminders in light of today’s events here in Ohio.  One thought in particular was the concept of  encouraging our Christian students to sit at a different cafeteria table ever week.  By doing so, our students will get a chance to know others at school and better understand who each other is.  I wonder like Greg if  the Christian teenagers at Chardon High School would have reached out to TJ Lane with the love of Jesus on a consistent basis whether or not the outcome would have been different. The rant TJ posted on his facebook page (now removed) shows a young man who has been hurt and ignored by many.

Could these deaths and woundings been avoided?  Maybe, maybe not…either way we’ve got to step up and equip and set our students free to reach out to…

“those teens”…the “un” ones, the loners and “losers.”  Why? Because this is the exact pattern of Jesus and, if the love of Jesus can’t prevent school shootings, there’s not a metal detector in the world that will.

• its amazing to me that in a day when we are so connected via the social media platforms, many are disconnected and even hurting and yet go unnoticed.
• this school year i’m spending three days a week inside our local schools.  i’m amazed at the impact my presence has made.  last week i was late to a middle school during lunch.  as i entered the building the principal wanted me to know that the students had asked if i was coming.  the principal said that i had “arrived”…i.e. earned the right to be their friend.  i have no agenda during my school visit, but to be present (there’s that bike ride thing again).
•  the conversations at the schools have turned to deeper things.  especially with the older boys.  a perplexity as they know of the deaths of these other young men.  they wonder/ponder  the proverbial “why”.
• the teachers tell me many of the boys are missing healthy relationships with their dads.  in almost every conversation, even those that are casual, the weight of that truth becomes apparent.

i’ve been very intentional about talking about the deaths of these young men during our weekly big group time at EVO…wanting these teens story to be told…wanting to give some lasting presence to their short lives…to encourage our students to risk deeper friendships with each other.

following my friend from his rehab facility to the ER for some late night patchwork on a blown hematoma. i had stopped by for a short visit and ended up supporting him through an 8 hour ordeal.

this past week i also shared with our students the story of another young man who is a friend and a freshman at university and was hit by a car while crossing the street near campus. he was injured and is still in recovery some 3 weeks later. he developed compartment syndrome on his lower right leg and had a fasciotomy (basically he has open incisions on both sides of his right leg from his ankle to his knee.) he is in incredible pain. he will need skin grafts to close the wounds. it is painful, but with time, good meds and incredible support of family and friends he will get through. i used his story to remind that there is pain in life (physically and emotionally) but it can be overcome. we sometimes don’t know why the pain comes our way but we can move through it.

as we move into the Advent season we do so with the expectation and waiting for the coming of our Messiah and King. We all want and need Hope and Jesus is truly our only hope. I found it interesting this week as i participated as a member of the crisis response team for the most recent death, the number of students i know that approached me and wanted just a simple hug.

our culture is too fast paced and our human interactions…being present are too few.  so in these remaining days of Advent consider how you can be present and offer Hope.

the present:hope tour team on the catalyst stage. my pal paul is to my right (he's 5th from R and i'4th with the camera on my helmet).

my friend, paul hurckman has an interesting post on the venture expedition blog about the impact of “story”.  the tension between tell a story in front of literally tens of thousands of people and to just one person.

i find it interesting especially even today, some 12 weeks since riding more than 800 miles with paul and 11 other individuals in the present:hope tour. 

i shared again today about the tour with a small group of senior high young men that i’m mentoring in a local high school.

my sharing with them was less about my personal accomplishment and more about the larger idea of a  willingness to risk to make a difference in the lives of others, even those we may never have met.  it was a great exchange between myself and these 7 young men.  most of these guys are making some unwise decisions about lifestyle choices that are impacting themselves in a negative way ( one of the reasons we’re spending time together).  i began our conversation with the “what’s goin’ on“  video from the post last week with thoughts about another young man, jonah .  it was good to hear my 7 young firends championing jonah’s plight and offering to befriend him.  and then i showed the tour video and a couple other videos i had shot riding on the highway.  those videos were a great springboard into a good conversation about understanding  that all of our lives matter and can leverage and impact others in ways we might not even understand while living it out.

i was on the phone later today with two others and again the impact of 12 days on a bike during the present:hope tour came up.  there are times i find myself wanting to apologize because it seems like all i ever do is talk about the those 803 miles.  yet what it really is about is simply sharing what the weight of those miles– the friendships– the investment from family in friends–and the list goes on — has offered not only to my story in life but literally hundreds of others.

paul notes correctly that the good folks at Venture have yet to receive an application for the 2012 rides…i’m hoping and praying that we can change that.  because as paul says…

…the real power in the Venture story happens when one person takes time to tell another how their life has been transformed by being on a tour.

so here’s my challenge…if you’re a pastor or youthworker  this Kingdom effort called venture expeditions could offer  you and/or one of your students the opportunity to truly benefit the world and discover your soul. check them out.

i’ve been part of many hours of helping students better understand this whole thing of bullying. i remember on session at the end of the last school year with some middle school students and as the presenter walked through building an awareness of those who struggle with their place in life i was truly reminded that at the core of most of these bullying acts is the reality that it comes down to being unfamiliar with each other…and out of the unfamiliarity comes a sense of fear for some that results in bullying. the resolution to the issue of bullying is somewhat easy, but takes effort and courage. a courage very similar to young Jonah…a willingness to tell our stories…to build friendships and begin to better communicate with each other. there is such hunger for a person’s life to matter and sitting on the reality of two recent suicides of teens in our community it only paints the picture with more starkness. so thanks, jonah. grateful for your facing your fears and offering literally your scars to offer release and break through for so many…a reminder that our stories matter.