Start from here: how not to feel like poop

March 16, 2012 in culture, family, thoughts with 1 Comment

my pal tim schmoyer posted this video on his blog earlier this week. i’m fascinated by what jeremy has to offer. the video is worth the watch. some real wisdom here. i’m also impressed by the conversation at the end between jeremy and his pastor. my mind has been moving through alot. i see almost everyday the impact of parents who don’t know how to parent…dad’s who don’t know how to be dads or men…mom’s that are confused about what a godly woman is to be. in fact our culture is stuck in perpetual adolescence.

i’m tired of the mess we have weaved for our children. i’m tired of being in schools the day after a young person has taken their young life…i’m tired of trying to be present in an ER with a young person who’s taken an overdose because the mess of their family leaves them, in their mind, no other recourse. i’m tired of those in the Kingdom not realizing the places we’ve created called “church” where community is anything but. i’m not sure the solution, but the process of restoration is going to be long and hard for our culture.  we’ve got to return to God’s blueprint. in the video, jeremy shares the wisdom of a friend who decided to begin anew. leaving behind the mess of their past, they said “you have to start from here…“  jeremy also shares that…

the trees with the deepest roots grow the highest…

so i’m going to rethink some things…some root things…i told my students this week i was going silent til Easter on the internets…i.e. facebook-texting-allthingssocialnetworks-etc. if they want me i’m available…ring me or come see me in the office or when i visit their schools. i’m going to use the margin to study, pray and learn. see you in april.

Once you KNOW, you never NOT know

March 13, 2012 in thoughts with Comments Off

Yesterday, Moody Radio’s Chris Fabry hosted a conversation with Moody Bible Institute professor Elizabeth Smith discussing the poison of sexualization of children and what we can do about it. i missed most of it but found out that Prof. Smith would be leading a webinar today expounding on the topic.  There was lots of practical wisdom and some shocking statics, but still important data.  one huge statement that still is rocking my understanding…is the reality…

that once a child “knows” about things sexual there is never again a time of not knowing. 

that’s not a problem unless the child is at an age that they can’t process what it all means.  and since the “knowing” thing is being learned at younger ages we need to be concerned.   i have conversations weekly with students in 4th,  5th and 6th grade who are “dating”…and who as they date are “making out” and taking a journey down a road that most likely end in some kind of “wreck”.

Particularly troubling is the impact of the sexualization of young girls.  some of the impact that Smith shared is sobering…

  • Cognitive and emotional consequences -Studies have found that thinking about the body and comparing it to sexualized cultural ideals may disrupt a girl’s mental concentration, and a girl’s sexualization or objectification may undermine her confidence in and comfort with her own body, leading to emotional and self-image problems, such as shame and anxiety.
  • Mental and physical health- Research has linked sexualization with three of the most common mental health problems diagnosed in girls and women: eating disorders, low self-esteem, and depression or depressed mood.
  • Sexual development – Research suggests that the sexualization of girls has negative consequences on girls’ ability to develop a healthy sexual self-image

There are a couple more webinars in the coming months that will be definitely worth the investment of time.  Learn more about the webinars here.

women of a different status-@31status

March 12, 2012 in student ministry, thoughts with Comments Off

i’ve been having too many conversations lately with our female students and adult leaders about helping our young women understand their place in world.  i’m tired of the drama of the revolving door of relationships with boys. …so much misunderstanding of who they are as daughter’s of the great King. the culture tells so many lies about the roles of both genders. And then today…my Kingdom ally, neely posted about this new effort 31 status.  31Status is a worldwide movement teaching girls to be the best they can be spiritually, mentally and physically. wow…good stuff here.  love this new telling of a proverbs 31 woman.  wow.

Chardon Shootings: Prayers & the Cafeteria

February 27, 2012 in leadership, student ministry, thoughts with Comments Off

click this image to learn more

Words can not express the horror of what has transpired today in the quiet community of Chardon, OH.  The brokenness of one young man causes the death (there are two as of this post) of his classmates.  We may never truly know the “why” of it.

Although the shooter has been arrested, the deep motivation that pushed him may escape our understanding.  I see this anger played out daily in the schools i visit and almost hourly in the fabric of the social network.  I’m not clear what to offer as a solution…but do know that those of us in leadership in communities and the local Church are going to have to think differently.  Over the past year i’ve been in many conversations about these issues.  The common theme centers around “bullying”. Local schools are spending tons of money to raise awareness…but i think the most basic solution and probably too simple for some -is we need to get to know each other better.  I sat in a bullying awareness seminar last spring and i can remember processing the experience and thinking…the real problem is these students don’t know each others stories.  And that lack of understanding is the core of so much of their relational breakdowns.  Efforts like Every Student-Every School can be a great first start.  Since prayer is the life breath of all ministry, getting concerned parents and community leaders joining together to pray for the students and for their being in healty peer relationships would be an amazing first start.  You can sign up for your school by following the link.

One of my good Kingdom Allies, Greg Stier, president of Dare2Share (and an early responder at Columbine High School in 1999) offered some great thoughts today on his blog with 5 reminders in light of today’s events here in Ohio.  One thought in particular was the concept of  encouraging our Christian students to sit at a different cafeteria table ever week.  By doing so, our students will get a chance to know others at school and better understand who each other is.  I wonder like Greg if  the Christian teenagers at Chardon High School would have reached out to TJ Lane with the love of Jesus on a consistent basis whether or not the outcome would have been different. The rant TJ posted on his facebook page (now removed) shows a young man who has been hurt and ignored by many.

Could these deaths and woundings been avoided?  Maybe, maybe not…either way we’ve got to step up and equip and set our students free to reach out to…

“those teens”…the “un” ones, the loners and “losers.”  Why? Because this is the exact pattern of Jesus and, if the love of Jesus can’t prevent school shootings, there’s not a metal detector in the world that will.

rising from ashes…

February 21, 2012 in thoughts with Comments Off

wow. i love how small the world gets because of these modern times.  incredible new movie about the beauty of freedom (via cycling) rising from ashes .  what’s equally cool, you could benefit the world and change your soul by riding a bike right here in the good old USA….check out venture expeditions

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